Grief can occur for many reasons – the loss of a loved one or a pet, the ending of a relationship, the loss of a job or a dream, infertility or anything that happens in our life that feels like a loss or that breaks our hearts.
Grief, by its nature is multifaceted and complex. There are many stages to walk through, the process is rarely linear and we can sometimes be hit by a wave of grief out of no-where by unexpected triggers.
Often when something happens in our lives that evokes grief or heartbreak, it can open a wound that contains a build-up of these emotions from this lifetime and sometimes even past lives that we were not able to express at the time – maybe it was too painful, maybe we prioritised other people over ourselves or maybe we didn’t have the space in our lives to deal with it. So then at a later stage, an event in our lives can trigger us to feel heartache, heartbreak, grief that feels much bigger than we feel the event might warrant, for example the death of an acquaintance can open us up to feeling grief we have not processed for people we lost who were closer to us. The grief can feel disproportionate, but in fact we are feeling all of the grief for everyone and everything we have ever lost. And this can spill over into grief we are carrying from past lives or grief that has come down the ancestral line that we are not even consciously aware of.
So what can we do when this happens? The first thing we can do is to be there for ourselves the same way we would be there for a loved one. We can prioritise ourselves and give ourselves space and time to be with the emotions, to feel them and to allow them to flow. This may feel challenging if you have held onto your tears for a long time, but allowing yourself to feel your emotions and allowing them to flow through you and your body is the key to releasing them. It is so important not to judge yourself and not to let the mind get in the way by over-analysing what is going on or how you are feeling. Hold compassion for yourself, the same way you would for someone else who is grieving. See the gift in the situation – that you are now ready and able to face your emotions and let them flow. That no matter how difficult it is, there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
Acknowledge your courage and know how empowered you are in the moments you face and feel your emotions – by facing and feeling them you are literally transforming them. When we let go of these emotions, we create more space in our bodies and energy fields for more light to enter.
If this is too much for you to deal with alone and you need support, look for a therapist who can support you.
As well as heartache and heartbreak, grief can bring feelings of shock, anger, guilt etc. depending on the circumstances and I will look at essences for these emotions in other blogs.
There are many essences from many ranges that support grief, heartbreak and heartache. Here are some that I have found most supportive:
Divine Light Essences
Our Lady The Divine Mother
This essence helps us to feel the unconditional love of our Divine Mother as we meet our emotions, helping us to feel safe and secure. We often hold onto grief and heartache from childhood that we were not equipped to deal with and Our Lady can gently support us in feeling and letting go of this.
Pale Pink Rose
Deeply supportive of our heart chakra as we move through the emotions. The softness of the flower supports us to keep our hearts open when our inclination may be to close it down to avoid feeling the pain. It helps us to connect with our heart, to feel our emotions and allow them to flow through us in a very gentle and safe way. This Rose is also deeply healing to our heart and emotions, like a soothing balm.
This essence is deeply supportive and helps us to find our inner strength and courage to face whatever life has presented us and literally helps us to keep standing, functioning and to keep going. Divine Strength helps us to know that no matter what is happening on the physical level, no matter how shattered or broken we may feel, our Soul remains whole and complete.
Snowdrop helps us to come out of our heads and into our hearts so that we can be present with ourselves and our emotions. It helps to be resilient and to endure our healing process by showing us the light at the end of the tunnel. Snowdrop gently opens our heart, allowing us to release the grief and heartache. This is a very calming, gentle and comforting essence that helps us find hope and optimism for the future.
Essences from other ranges
Star of Bethlehem (Healing Herbs, Bach essence)
The Bach essence for shock and trauma that often accompanies grief. Star of Bethlehem also brings comfort when we are feeling loss and emptiness when we lose someone we love.
Bleeding Heart (Alaskan Essences, MoonFlower Essences)
Supports our hearts when we feel like they are literally broken and bleeding. Helps us to to resolve the polarities of love/separation and joy/suffering by opening our heart to compassion for all beings, including ourselves.
Pink Bluebell (Wild Medicine Essences)
Heart healer – when feeling separation or when our heart is contracted this essence melts our hearts open again healing heartache and heartbreak.
Sturt Desert Pea (Australian Bush Flower Essences)
This is a very strong and potent essence that helps to release grief and sadness that has been held onto for a long time. You need to feel ready to work with this essence.